Dancing Dust

Poems by Mollie Caird (1922-2000)

Animal crackers

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Our league are busy sewing shirts for horses
And designing dainty lingerie for cows;
Old Blossom would look classier
In a really well-cut brassiere,
And you can't have naked cats about the house.

We'll do things at cut prices for the Durrells;
We've quantities of work for Regent's Park;
We're producing pink pyjamas
For buffaloes and llamas,
And await a shipping order from the Ark.

The licentiousness of rodents is appalling,
And growing at a most alarming rate,
But we're making monkish habits
For the godlier type of rabbits,
Who will doubtless soon be strictly celibate.

Those fussy foreign deer at Woburn Abbey
Already talk in terms of chic and ton —
They spurn the plain designs
Of our unpretentious lines,
And insist on haute couture from St. Laurent.

Said Rover "Mistress dear, give me some biscuits
To sustain me on a long and tiring tramp;
You can keep my hat and coat
And give them to the goat —
I'm off to found a canine nudist camp."

The Society for Indecency to Naked Animals was a satirical hoax to expose conservative moralism in the United States by adopting its rhetoric and terminology.  The hoax's worldwide success was guaranteed by its absurd plausibility.

About 1960